..having something important stolen from you typically comes out of bloody nowhere, is disorienting, confusing, leaves you with a nasty bugger of a headache, and an acute case of irrational and uncontrollable rage. 

This, obviously, is a photograph of a 2000 Honda Civic. I owned one of these up until the 19th of this month when the NYPD discovered the tattered remains of my property abandoned in Queens. 

Everyone loses important things, and things are stolen on a daily basis, this I understand. That doesn't make becoming a statistic any easier. My car meant a lot to me. It was the first major thing, for lack of a better term, that I've ever owned. It wasn't just a car, it was a symbol of my life advancing beyond the beer stained basement that was my high school career to the semi-impaired collegiate and professional stages of life. Furthermore, this unremarkable machine shared a number of remarkable times and memories (many of those memories being of the sultry nature), over its nine years and 120,000 miles of life.

But it's gone now. It'll be a long time until I can afford another car. And with that, will become incredibly difficult for me to do my show on Saturdays and Sundays. Feel free to breathe your sigh of indifference.

Brutal reality, eh?

I went public with my unfortunate story because, quite frankly, I've been stewing about it alone in my apartment all week. My deep knowledge of the human mind and psychology tells me that that's not the healthy route to take.

Therefore, I'll post a quick profanity-based Mad Libs in order to help alleviate that pressure. I'll leave you to fill in the blanks. This is a family website: 

_____ you, sir who decided to steal my car. _____ you very much.

Hope to be back with everyone soon. In the meantime, I'll be on the lookout for this guy:

Whether you're in the Obama camp or not, nobody can deny the lingustic kung-fu and Steve McQueen-esque cool he exudes

in his public speaking engagements. But I had this feeling that Obama would come off like a Harvard law nerd. Come to think of it, he does come off like a Harvard law nerd, but he tossed out jabs at McCain and himself deftly and with a sharp wit. Er, sharp script. Let's not give them too much laff cred.

 

My score:

8/10

 

Don't ask for the basis of my ratings scale. I laughed harder at McCain. He tore it up.

 

In the end, they both owned the room. It's simply a shame that modern campaign politics can't have a comedic tone amidst the flak. Instead, we're fed a diet of attack ads and loose allegations for months until a number of people vomit on demand when confronted by anything remotely political. To be honest, Pavlov's dogs would've vomited on command if they were conditioned with commercials that ended with an "I approve this message" tag. Unfortunately, it's that brand of campaigning that's spurned a number of people from the voting process altogether.

 

I won't tell you who to vote for, folks. But I WILL urge you to do your duty and cast your ballot on November 4th. If you haven't done so already, get educated. You do have a voice in the way this country runs. After the craziness has settled, I hope that some day, we'll all look back at this hotly contested election and laugh. Laugh until it hurts.

 

Or not.

 

 

This post and page have been a long time coming (since January, to be exact), but it was my unfortunate luck and great displeasure that an acute case of writer's block settled in like, uhh... someone who hasn't had a lof of blogging experience on a radio station website before. Don't expect sharp wit in the first post, folks.

Nevertheless, I persevere in order to offer my potential readers and listeners a deeper insight into the mind, life, and times of your ol' pal Matt. 

I don't want to aggrandize what you'll be reading in the future on this webpage. Let's face it, nothing I post can remotely touch the sheer rockitude of Moorhead's page. I don't have great plans, and I'm sure that a number of you will likely contest as to whether what I consider interesting, actually is. The fact that you'll stop by is good enough for me.

Expect news & opinion, fair and balanced, on a number of varying topics such as: music, film, video games, sports, beer, girls, and whatever else you could probably find in a copy of FHM for less than five dollars. And with stronger and more eloquent writing. 

Hope you enjoy whatever it is that's coming.

Cheers.